Mercy, again!

I almost blew it last week. We were standing in a long line for the ferris wheel at the Houston Rodeo. I told the kids they could go together to sit with Grandpa while I stood waiting, and Daniel said, "I want to keep you company." Ok, that's a nice gesture. I will let him.

So we stood there. I was sticky with goo from cotton candy and Dippin' Dots. I was a bit anxious (confessions) about how much (or lack thereof) money we had in our bank account after seeing the receipt from the ATM.

And Daniel was pulling on my shirt. With his sticky fingers. And I was annoyed. "Stop pulling on my shirt," I snapped.

And he kept trying to tell me something, only, he was whispering. At the Rodeo! I couldn't understand him. I told him several times, "You need to speak up." "You need to talk louder, I can't hear you." "Don't whisper; I can't hear you!" I was irritated.

Finally, I heard his sweet comment. "Mommy, when Jesus is in your heart, you always have company."

Ka-pow! The knife pierced through my hard heart and I was humbled. What if I had snapped and snatched away that priceless little thought from my sweet four-year-old? Oh, the mercy of God, that kept me at that moment from spoiling his God-ward thought. Oh, sweet Mercy, don't leave me in my sin. Grant that you would rest on me each moment, and save me from myself and my own wretchedness!

Precious Prayers

God has given me the opportunity to sponsor a couple of women through our church's Step study, which is a very intense 16-week study for people that want to get to the bottom of any kind of issue: abuse, divorce, addictions, hurts, depression, anger, discontentment, you name it. I met with one of my sponsee's today, and as we were finishing up, Daniel came in and wanted to talk (there's a big surprise). We were about to pray, and he piped up that he wanted to pray. So I granted his request, and he led out:

"Father God, thank you for taking away our dirty hearts and giving us clean hearts. And thank you for sending Jesus to die on the cross. And thank you that He took the punishment that we deserved for our sin. Thank you for loving us."
I'm sure he's heard these prayers over and over in Little Village (and hopefully at home...by God's grace!). What a joy to hear these words come from his little heart! He has the most earnest praises.

The other night he had the job of doing the "praise" prayer. (We often assign one child to one type of prayer - praise, thanks, confession, and request). He prayed quite earnestly, and when he stopped, he would start again as he would think of attributes to praise God for. "God thank you that you are so good. And thank you that you are so loving. And I praise you that you are so powerful, you can do anything. And you know everything. And you are wise."

And You reveal Yourself to little children. And that's our hope and prayer. That You would take these four little souls and reveal Your goodness and beauty to them, and give them Life.

More Laughs with the Dan Man

Daniel saw a friend of mine today, and she asked him for a hug.
"No, I'm not going to hug you," he told her.
"Why not? You hugged me last time I saw you. You gave me a big hug. Why don't you give me a big hug today?"
"I'm not going to hug you today," (with a big smile, of course).
I took the little guy gently and turned him to look me in the face, and tried to gently coax him into giving her a hug.
"No, I'm not going to hug her."
"Why not, Daniel?" I asked.
"Because I'm doing a pattern," he says.
"A pattern?"
"Yes. I hugged her last time. I'm not going to hug her today. Then, next time I see her, I'll hug her again. Then the next time I won't. It's a pattern."

We got a good laugh out of that one. Then he asked her what that line was on her chest. Cleavage! Funny boy. He keeps us laughing, for sure!

Go to the Ant (with guns?)

We've been working on memorizing some passages of scripture as a family, and we recently began working on Proverbs 6:6-11. Kris was helping out at church one evening while I was doing "Bible time" with the kids, and we thought it would be fun to make up motions to surprise him the next night. We had a blast.
The next night, we gathered around for Bible time and excitement built as we anticipated performing our motions for Daddy. When the time came, the three boys left the room.
Kris was baffled as to why they suddenly left, and one of them said he needed to get a gun.
"How could they possibly need a gun for their Bible verse?"
I sank a bit lower in my chair, looking guilty. "Actually, they kind of do need a gun. We made up motions. You'll see."

So we did them.
"Go to the ant, O sluggard; (Crawl fingers of one hand along the other hard, like a tiny ant, walking)
consider her ways, and be wise. (Stroke your beard)
Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, (Salute)
she prepares her bread in summer (Knead bread)
and gathers her food in harvest. (Gather food off the ground)
How long will you lie there, O sluggard? (Tap your watch)
When will you arise from your sleep? (Pretend to sleep)
A little sleep, a little slumber, (Continue to sleep)
a little folding of the hands to rest, (Fold hands/twiddle thumbs)
and poverty will come upon you like a robber, (Cry out in surprise)
and want like an armed man." (Aim your weapon of choice - they boys' favorite part!)

What a fun verse this was to memorize!

Symbolic Stones

Our journey to Coram Deo Academy takes us through a neighborhood, and last October on the way home from school, Thomas called my attention to a particular yard.

"Mom! Look! That's really neat!!"

"What do you see, Thomas?"

"Mommy, that person who owns that house put up the Ten Commandments in their yard!"

Halloween.

Tombstones.

I'm glad that the things of God were on Thomas's mind, anyway! I think it's interesting that the Ten Commandments do loom large like tombstones in that they point out our complete inability to attain acceptance before God. No one in all the world, except Jesus Christ, has ever obeyed them perfectly. They are a bit symbolic of our doom, like tombstones, if we take Christ out of the picture.

Updates

These next few posts are several things I've been wanting to write down from the last few months...

Out of the mouths of babes...

The other day, Daniel repeatedly asked me if I would do something. I gave him an indefinite answer, not really wanted to commit myself. And he kept asking. And asking. So, I proceeded to give him a lesson on nagging, explaining that asking over and over wears people down, sometime makes them irritated, and then they really don't want to give you want you want. He was thoughtful for a moment, then he says, "God isn't like that."

Astonished, and wondering what his reasoning was, I asked him what he meant. He said something along the lines of, "If you ask and ask God, He listens and answers." I was shocked, and guilty, all at the same time. I am so thankful that the Lord helped him to understand his recent lesson about Hannah, who asked and asked for her precious son Samuel. God is so good to reveal His character and truth to the hearts of children!

Boats and Arrows

Thomas came home from Kindergarten last Wednesday with a mission: he had to build a boat. He first filled the sink and asked for the foil. He attached a sail with some tape. I handed him a plastic container when his foil idea foiled. I was busy about the house and heard some noises. I looked up about the time he asked me if I could position the box fan on the counter for him; he had retrieved it from the garage and placed it in front of the kitchen sink. Wind.

When I suggested he move his expedition to our master bath tub, he unplugged the fan and flew through the house. He spent literally hours last week designing and constructing sails and taping skewers for the masts. Then he would watch them sail in the bathtub in the wind. (Honey, sorry about the water bill...)

Then, Saturday, he asked if I had something sharp. Music to every mother's ears. Why? He wanted to make a bow and arrow, he said. I had the same wooden skewers that served as masts. Thomas like that idea! He found a stick outside, had Kris saw notches on each end, and strung a rubber band through the notches. He also requested that notches be cut on the ends of the skewer arrow to hold it on the bowstring. And lo and behold, it shoots! David and Daniel and our neighbor friend all have bows and arrows now, with the arrows color coated so they don't get them mixed up (all their idea). And they made a target out of a box. David can even make the skewers stick in the target. Fun fun!

Blogging

I haven't blogged in a year and three months. We moved. Life happened. I just didn't do it. I keep thinking about this little space, wondering if I would ever use it again. And it's the fun things the kids do that makes me wish I would take a minute to document it.

I also feel a little self absorbed when I blog. Like I'm showing the world what my family is up to in a self-promoting way. I really don't want to be like that. I don't usually feel like other people do that. Anyway, I felt like I needed a little post in between June 2010 and today. So this is it. (Wow...this blog is interesting. Yawn.)

It doesn't matter

The three of you who faithfully check my blog even though I rarely post already know that our house is for sale. This has been an unexpected journey through fear, uncertainly, and restlessness for me. I never imagined myself to be a fearful person, but God has used this process to root out some things in me that I would have been much more comfortable leaving buried (although we both know that God's goal is not to make us more comfortable but more holy, which eternally benefits us but it doesn't feel good right now!).

When our For Sale sign went up, so did my peace of mind...in smoke.

What if it doesn't sell and the market takes a dive and we can't sell for years?
What if it doesn't sell until school starts?
What if we can't move, and we are faced with living far away from our church? However can we really have the biblical community we long for for ourselves and our children if we live so far away?
What if we have to find a different church? We love the one we've found, and we really do feel like the Lord led us there.
What if we can't find a place to live that we can afford?
What if what if what if.

I realized a couple of weeks ago that I was NOT okay with our house not selling. This was a BIG RED FLAG. What if God's will is for us to stay put? Am I okay with that?

What about God's will, Julie? Don't you trust that God is in control? Yes.
Don't you know that God is in control of the real estate market? Yes.
Don't you know that God knows that we have four kids and that moving during school will be harder? Yes.
Don't you trust that God has given you these desires for biblical community, and that He cares more about the spiritual nurture of your family than you do? Yes.
Don't you trust that God will provide for your family's needs, no matter where you are? Yes.

Then why am I afraid? Because I know that God doesn't always do for us what seems best to us. Sometimes He plans things for us that are uncomfortable, and sometimes downright difficult. I don't want my life to be difficult. I want it to be easy.

But I must face this sin: Am I living for Him, or for me? Am I willing to serve and follow Him, as long as it is comfortable for me? Am I willing to follow Him into valleys, trusting that the strong hand leading me will never fail or leave me alone? My anxieties, I'm afraid, are revealing that I am way too committed to myself and not to Him.

I certainly don't have all the answers for dealing with this, but I did pick up a book I have enjoyed so far called Running Scared, fear, worry and the God of rest by biblical counselor Ed Welch. I am planning to work through this book and looking forward to being encouraged to pursue the Lord through these struggles.

I also keep reviewing a phrase that I read somewhere, maybe from Elisabeth Elliot. She talked about being "indifferent in the will of God." Basically, we should be so committed to Him, so sure of His love and care, and so desiring for our lives to bring Him glory, that we simply don't care what He does with us. We know He will walk with it through us. We know that following Him will bring immeasurably more joy than walking in our own way, and we just want to bring Him glory. It doesn't matter to us what He plans and ordains, because we know that "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

So, I am trying to keep my eyes on Him and not on our schedule of showings, and praying for my desire to glorify Him to increase, and my desire to serve my own desires, even if they seem like good ones, to diminish a bit. It struck me the other day that God can resurrect someone from the dead to buy our house. It's SO not an issue for Him. I know He's much more concerned about my heart being happy in Him, trusting Him, and not worrying about tomorrow.