Mercy

I have a homeless friend that I met through FBC Parker, and I have had the privilege of taking her around to try to get her state ID and to the Dollar Tree and various other things. When I first started doing this, I was eager to treat her to a meal, even if it was just McDonald's. I was excited about letting her order the most expensive meal on the menu, and wanted her to enjoy it. I was feeling merciful. I was so struck by the thought that the Lord's mercy toward me is similar, so I thought. I was totally undeserved, His enemy, not able to contribute anything to Him or give Him anything at all. I was dead and hopeless, and then He reached out in love toward me and saved me. We are ALL like this, my friend, myself, and every human except Christ Jesus who has ever lived.

As the weeks and months went by, I realized that my "mercy" was indeed not quite up to par with the mercy of the Almighty (imagine that?). I realized this a few weeks ago on another of our McDonald's visits. There we were, laptop on the table to help my friend submit some online job applications. I pre-packed PBJ for all of us and thought we could just buy something off of the dollar menu, one for each of us, so that would be $6 plus tax...seemed like a good way to be a good steward of my money. We had eaten out so much lately that I wanted to save a little! And I figured that of course the kids and my friend would all be okay with PBJ and we could look forward to a treat from the dollar menu. Well...

It didn't go so well. She HATES jelly, she informed me. And it is too difficult for her to chew peanut butter on bread. She was not interested in my thrifty idea. So, no problem (inward growl), I will buy her a meal and the rest of us will stick to the game plan. A cheeseburger isn't too pricey, right? Well, she wanted a salad meal...only the most expensive meal on the menu (it seemed to me). So I shuffled up to the counter to order, spending half of my money on my friend and the other half on the other 5 of us (grumble, grumble).

Thankfully, when I returned to the table with our food, I needed to take the kids to wash their hands, and the Lord graciously spoke to my heart as we were hand-washing.
The Holy Spirit brought to mind these phrases from Scripture: "His mercy endures forever" and "His mercies never come to an end."

These verses convicted me so much. My mercy had waned. It was almost non-existent, actually. But His doesn't wane. His mercy endures. Even in the face of our blatant sin - our mis-understanding of His greatness and power and goodness - He is still merciful. We take His gifts without giving Him the praise due Him, and He keeps giving to us anyway. We reject His ways and try to arrange our life how we'd rather have it, and He continues to pursue us, continues to help us see His faithfulness, continues to reassure us that He loves us. He is so merciful and He will continue in His mercy. His mercy won't end. His mercy won't wane for His children.

I returned to the table with a totally different attitude toward my friend and her desired salad meal. How much I needed to learn! I was ashamed of my previous attitude, and hopeful that it hadn't shown through my face and body language to my friend. Please don't read into this that my friend was ungrateful for what I had given her in the past. She always seems grateful and appreciative, which even more highlights the difference between my limited mercy and the enduring, unfailing mercy of God towards ungrateful me.

This was a powerful experience for me in understanding God's mercy. I pray that my sinful heart will grow in this as the Lord continues to show this undeserving sinner His great mercy.